Tim Collins is rumored to be the oldest son of actress Joan Collins. Even with his Hollywood good looks, Tim decided that he wanted no free ride in movies because of his mother’s fame, deciding instead to burn cigars and master the art of Screwie Louie. I had the pleasure of playing as Tim’s partner the other day and we won every single game. Tim is mild mannered and never has a bad thing to say about anyone. He is as stoic as Marcus Aurelius was in the epic movie Gladiator. You can find Tim engaging his follow card-mates and smokers at the Zone in Valencia, California

Thought to have been the long lost son of Sammy Davis Jr, Travis has sought to become the legitimate heir to the Davis estate. As of this writing,  Travis has had no such luck. Frank Sinatra, Peter Lawford, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis have all since passed, but there is no legitimate reason to doubt that Travis is Sammy’s Davis Jr’s long lost son. Travis smokes with all the finesse and flare that Sammy once did.  Is that Screwie or what? Travis should be rolling in the dough as the last personified heir to the Rat Pack Throne.  

Chester (The Inspiration) As a child, Chester loved hanging out on his native Jamaican beaches and listening to reggae and ska music. Bob Marley took notice of Chester’s musical genius and surfing abilities and they both helped to create the SkaBeach good-vibrations-music trend which is still un-trending to this day. Chester, now established as an elder in the dread traditions of Santa Clarita, can be found playing Screwie at the Zone and Cigar Clientele.  

Louis (Card Shark) Louis has got a mind like a steel trap. What makes a card shark, you ask? Answer: A photographic memory. Bring extra $10’s when you sit at the table with Louis. This game should be called Screwie Louis.

Pat (The Sheriff) Pat is known to have the fastest hand west of The Mississippi. When Pat is in town you best lay down your cards and pay up. I’ve seen personally how fast he is. He laid down a 7-card run with just 9 cards in his holster. Now that’s fast! BEWARE “The Sheriff”  

Kirk (The Captain) Loves Screwie Louie so much, he offers his house up to all those who bring goodwill, libations, cigars, and a game. Many a cold night have his Screwie brothers and sisters sat out in his backyard, gazing affectionately at his smokey cosmos.

Doc Rich (The Precisionist)   Not much is known of DOC as he rarely comes out from behind his surgical mask. Doc loves Screwie Louie so much, he will play with anyone, even if they’re comatose or in ICU. The poor guy in the hospital bed had been Doc’s Screwie team partner. He had put down an ace with two jokers, not knowing Doc had already put down an ace with two jokers, thus screwing the jokers. What happened next, was no joke. The stiff ended up in ICU. Yes, he is a REAL doctor!

Lorenzo (The Italian Stallion) – Can multi-task while watching sports on TV and playing Screwie Louie. Legend has it that Lorenzo is a descendant of the Medici family of Italy. Having been raised as a child in the northern Tuscany region, the boy-child loved picking grapes in the family’s vast vineyard and enjoyed frolicking with the grape-stomping maidens.  It is rumored that Lorenzo had a family blood feud, with his older brother Mario, which caused Lorenzo to be banished into exile as the black sheep of the family. His new home became Valencia, California after Lorenzo was adopted by his Screwie Louie bothers and sisters. He can, on occasion, be…

LEON (THE PRO) Chrikjain – Leon knows everything about cards including Screwie Louie. He is the proprietor of The Smoke Zone. You best not make a mistake as his playing partner or The Pro will pull his stink eye on you. Then you will become his ENEMY! Leon has a .500 batting average.